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10/11/2021 7:37 pm |
Nice read
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Beautiful. *. *. *
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Nice poetry baby, you’re great
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Poignant and lonely imagery and rather sad; you've mentioned all the stuff you've been through this year. If it's a voyage you're on, I hope your rudder straightens itself out, and you reach dry land. I don't know when I'll be able to use 'rood' in a sentence; I imagine if I go to church again. Or did you mean that quarter acre of earth you seek — either work. Why temporary? It's here; you've posted it — it's been broadcast. 🌹 It's a keeper. ❗ ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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Well shit, that's just gorgeous. Darkly gorgeous but fucking gorgeous just the same. I just want to hug you. Plus I learned a new word, rood. Thank you.
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Hey there V … when cast at sea… … sometimes we’ll be…. …. A little lost…. … time has its cost…. … But please don’t fret… … I’ll make this bet…. …. Your compass inside…. … will find your path, you can’t hide… … because your lust for real living…. … shared between taking and giving… … when least expected just begin… …. your eyes will sparkle face grin… …. Believe that your adventures await…. …. Question not… it’s your fate…. Cape Diem …. M
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I love the lines: White knuckling the tiller wore the wood the destined snap wrought holy rood. There was nothing left for my skiff or i but to drift along...survey the sky. Yep. When all else fails, ya gotta look up! Beautiful imagery in this. ~~~" Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift." --Mary Oliver~~~
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Really nicely written Jules. Dark or not it's great writing!!
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I hope Maudlin's okay wi' bein' waxed McJules?? Lovely words, well constructed, dark, evocative! And also, holyrood's just a wee bit doon the road from me!
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Oh Jules, I have no idea what this is about, but here I am thinking of you, wishing you well, and wishing there was some way I could help you steer your boat.
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Oh, look, not being able to send an email either of us could read, I was going to put the next bit in your "private" post, when I found you don't have one. (Funny that - I don't have one either, lol.) So what the hell - delete this if it's embarrassing and you don't want anyone else to see it. I was just going to say: It's not bad poetry, but I'm not sure whether the quality of the writing is what you were thinking about when you wrote it! What seems more important to me is that this sounds as if maybe it is actually about something pretty serious. Maybe I am reading more into it, or maybe it's about a situation now long passed. I know you said it was only going to be up temporarily. Why - because you don't want to be one of those needy people who always have some drama in their lives? I do that too, but the lost feeling inside doesn't really go away. Maybe you were being deliberately obscure because you wanted to vent the feeling, but you don't want to say anything too personal? I do that too! Anyway, I am glad that the poem sounds kind of resigned to the hopelessness of the situation - rather than desperate and in trouble, which is good. And I know you probably have good friends and family, but all the same - if somehow talking to an acquaintance from a long way away would help let me know.....
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Set adrift on the horizon facing the ocean abyss
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There's nothing wrong with sharing some dark, deep feelings and thoughts from time to time. Not many can argue that these are trying times which are testing the metal of many . Just because it's not of your usual subject matter, doesn't mean it needs to be removed. We are all human and being lost or feeling overlooked at times (am I reading this correctly?) normal. As always, I enjoy your creative way of expressing a thought. Bud Always Ready for Fun.
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I hear ya Jules.... Things WILL get better.
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Darling Jules, I've read your words on here for awhile and have been moved, impressed, aroused, made curious, and sundry other emotions with your skillfully crafted compositions - but this one is incredible !.! I appreciate your describing this post as maudlin; but, it struck me as reflective, introspective, and thought provoking. You are not alone in these turbulent times and how they can make one feel adrift and seemingly alone in the endless storms of life ... combine the triple whammy of loss of loved ones, career upheaval, and a newly empty nest and even the 'Rock of Gibraltar' would be shaken and feeling tossed about !.! Please remember that with each harsh wind that blows you about, each hidden current that pulls you from your chosen course, and each thundering wave that threatens to crush your tiny ark - there are dozens, nay maybe even hundreds of hidden hands holding you tight, guiding your hand, and helping to bail out the seas attempting to swamp the vessel ... ... Shit - all of a sudden the Theme to 'Giligan's Island' just popped into my head and it won't go away !.! Nevertheless, You are not alone and won't be through the connections you've made here ... . .. From the smoldering remains of the Sierra Nevada Mountains, Range Bull P.S. I noticed your private message page disappeared - Is that intentional, or another Dinner Contacts debacle ?.? Range Bull From the Gold Country of Northern California's Sierra Nevada Mountains, Range Bull
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It may be dark, but it’s fabulously visual. I think I might share with Charmer! I know 2020 was extremely tough for you, and I’m sorry 2021 wasn’t any better. But there is always hope, because there has to be! Without it, we would be lost forever. Love and hugs from CA.
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Hi Jules - you know what, I should have edited my comment. The phrase "not bad" is so ambiguous! But in the tone of voice in which it was said in my head, it was meant as a jokey compliment. I definitely didn't mean it to be read as "not good either" !!! But I guess I was trying to avoid the way some people say "oh how wonderful," whatever painful rubbish is put up as poetry on blogs sometimes. I did take it seriously as a poem and because of that I could see that you are a good enough writer to know it isn't perfect. And anyway at that time I was more interested in trying to be supportive about whatever was behind the words rather than looking at the poem as a piece of art! However, since I mislead you into thinking I was damning with faint praise, here, putting my English teacher's hat on, (even though I am not actually an English teacher, lol) here is what I think of it critically as a piece of poetry: Firstly, I have to admit I have been drawn back to read it again a few times, so it ticks the box of being memorable and asking the reader to look at it more deeply. But I think the uneveness in the metre does detract from its impact - and it wouldn't be hard to adjust a syllable or two to improve that. There are of course lots of wonderful poems which don't try to have regular metre, (The Hitchhikers by Diane Wakoski is one of my favourites, ) but the words still flow naturally. In my opinion, (not shared by everyone, lol) if you ARE going to have a regular metre, then you have to make it work! "The needle struggled to stay on north" is a great start, but the first two verses as a whole are a bit clunky, as opposed to the last two, both of which are much better. But you could probably tweak them to make a big improvement, if that is something you wanted to do. The second use of the word fluttered didn't work for me. I remember seeing a first draft of Anthem for Doomed Youth by Wilfred Owen, with handwritten corrections and amendments alongside the final version. It was already good, but nowhere near as good as the finished article, even though he had only changed a few words here and there. The overall effect of your poem and the metaphor of a boat at sea for a turbulent life is evocative enough to make me want a more polished finished article! I love the line "White knuckling the tiller wore the wood" - not just because it is so succinct, but also it has a nice alliteration which appears to come naturally rather than being contrived. "Beat back the boat and battered me" is another I liked. "There's no glorious tale that did her in," is clever - I like the way it almost bemoans the fact that there is no one calamity on which to blame disaster - just the constant forward motion and the battle with the rough weather. Great metaphor for the way life's endless troubles can wear you down. So I did think it was good actually, but I can imagine you can do even better!
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A little dark but with the way the past two years have been it should be understandable. I look for the sun to shine and know it is up there even if it is a cloudy day. Smile and know that someone needs that smile to make it through their day
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You know a dream is like a river Ever changin' as it flows And a dreamer's just a vessel That must follow where it goes Trying to learn from what's behind you And never knowing what's in store Makes each day a constant battle Just to stay between the shores...and I will sail my vessel 'Til the river runs dry Like a bird upon the wind These waters are my sky I'll never reach my destination If I never try So I will sail my vessel 'Til the river runs dry Too many times we stand aside And let the waters slip away 'Til what we put off 'til tomorrow Has now become today So don't you sit upon the shoreline And say you're satisfied Choose to chance the rapids And dare to dance the tide...yes I will sail my vessel 'Til the river runs dry Like a bird upon the wind These waters are my sky I'll never reach my destination If I never try So I will sail my vessel 'Til the river runs dry There's bound to be rough waters And I know I'll take some falls But with the good Lord as my captain I can make it through them all...yes I will sail my vessel 'Til the river runs dry Like a bird upon the wind These waters are my sky I'll never reach my destination If I never try So I will sail my vessel 'Til the river runs dry come tie up on my dock for a bit... rest in a safe harbour
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