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How many no's does it take?  

AnewWoman 61F  
157 posts
3/5/2020 12:50 pm
How many no's does it take?

I believe it was Zig Ziglar who said never give up until you have heard no at least 3 times. I receive lots of requests to meet and therefore say no thanks frequently. For this question, my reason for saying no is irrelevant. I get all sorts of responses after saying no; some saying their loss, some saying my loss, some begging me to meet. The list goes on. What I would like to know is how many no's does it take for you to say ok and move on? In the comment section maybe mention your success rate for not giving up should that be the case.
1 no and I'm out of there.
2 just to double check they really meant no.
3 no's are enough for me, then I'm gone.
3's only the beginning for the right person.
I never give up.


Paulxx001 62M
15235 posts
3/5/2020 1:33 pm

In real life - I'm in sales... lol and Zig is an asshole... lol... So three.... ๐Ÿ˜
In matters of the heart... One.
No time for games or some bullshit chase. There are too many opportunities out there. And if a woman doesn't see a possibility with me? No worries... ๐ŸŒน๐Ÿท๐Ÿท๐Ÿ˜Ž

Zig... you made me laugh. That guy is a slightly overrated tool.... and my boss's idol. lol ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜ฎ But... he was right about - THREE! ๐Ÿ‘ โ—โ—โ—

... is there another way to look at it.
Coincidence... or destiny The Bench


AnewWoman replies on 3/5/2020 5:30 pm:
I totally agree. 30 years ago I had bosses who thought the sun rose and set in Zig Ziglar. I couldn't stand the guy. I think a common trait of these people is they do it for the kill. It's not the money, it's the fact they won. And once finished with that sale, it was forgotten because it was time to pursue the next sale.

shadowtoo69 64M  
885 posts
3/5/2020 1:59 pm

Most times just one. If I see the person around 3 or 4 months later I might drop them a line and see if their interest have changed..


lonlyforlove2 77M  
3515 posts
3/5/2020 2:08 pm

I think three with respect, but one has to follow his heart. You never know only one more might be the winner. Just be respectful and realistic about it..

Be sure to look in at lonlyforlove2 . It may make you smile!!


countryliving67 67T  
1 post
3/5/2020 2:10 pm

Just once everybody. I cannot believe the number of rude people Iโ€™ve came across in the short time Iโ€™ve been doing my search. I am a crossdresser and really thought that we were here to support each other. But when you say hi to someone that just looked at your profile and wonโ€™t respond by saying at least a โ€œnoโ€ what else would you call it but rude


lighthousecollec 57F  
236 posts
3/5/2020 2:22 pm

i have tried with one gentleman on a few times and needless to say he is a standard member so i sent him a message on IM and to his private mailbox he set up but nothing . I finally gave up after 3 times. With my heart it just takes only once.

Hope all your dreams come true. Light


randi19563 64M  

3/5/2020 2:33 pm

Your question is moot for me. They court ME, not the other way around. "I got legs, and I know how to use them. I never beg; I know how to choose them".


h4rry66 53M
1916 posts
3/5/2020 2:44 pm

Its difficult to give up with a beautiful lady like you, but no means no. X


1seeking1 54F
2957 posts
3/5/2020 2:52 pm

Curious if the answers differ based on what gender you are. I find males here have hard time accepting no.


AnewWoman replies on 3/5/2020 5:18 pm:
At the time I'm responding to you it looks like 80% are saying it only takes one no. My thought is 50% is more realistic based my experience. I was actually more interested in the comments as to why one no is not enough. Thanks for your comment. Good point.

8848tuit 67M
1 post
3/5/2020 2:56 pm

If given a good reason as to no, then I stop


mr_ric_hard 59M
11 posts
3/5/2020 3:07 pm

How many no's does it usually take?


JJ2Umendo 64M
16 posts
3/5/2020 3:08 pm

1 is it for me, too many other options to keep hearing no.


sensualmaninmn 58M  
477 posts
3/5/2020 3:36 pm

Maybe if the woman in question is vague about her "no" I will probe a little more. Otherwise, I don't waste time with someone who would not want to get to know and be with me.


Usemyhardon 50M
31 posts
3/5/2020 3:54 pm

Once is enough. Donโ€™t believe in being pushy. Offer to be friends and let it go


Brokenguy64 55M

3/5/2020 4:36 pm

    Quoting Paulxx001:
    In real life - I'm in sales... lol and Zig is an asshole... lol... So three.... ๐Ÿ˜
    In matters of the heart... One.
    No time for games or some bullshit chase. There are too many opportunities out there. And if a woman doesn't see a possibility with me? No worries... ๐ŸŒน๐Ÿท๐Ÿท๐Ÿ˜Ž

    Zig... you made me laugh. That guy is a slightly overrated tool.... and my boss's idol. lol ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜ฎ But... he was right about - THREE! ๐Ÿ‘ โ—โ—โ—
Damn! I wish I read this a while ago
You nailed it,..ONE m and the comment about the bullshit chase!
Send this guy a cigar...or at least 100 points!


classicalrebel4 64M  
1395 posts
3/5/2020 5:13 pm

Once should be enough unless there is a need to reword the request to clarify things.

Please don't let me be misunderstood.


tresennui 65F  
2437 posts
3/5/2020 5:21 pm

After I give one no, unless the second request comes with a compelling sales pitch, I just ignore, or if grossly obnoxious...block.

Tresennui
Succumbing to Curiosity...read me at tresennui


tresennui 65F  
2437 posts
3/5/2020 5:22 pm

    Quoting tresennui:
    After I give one no, unless the second request comes with a compelling sales pitch, I just ignore, or if grossly obnoxious...block.
And...I only ask once. If someoneโ€™s not interested I do not pursue anymore.

Tresennui
Succumbing to Curiosity...read me at tresennui


ed6569 49M
60 posts
3/5/2020 5:25 pm

I hear no just once and I'm done, some ppl never heard of the word.


LuvWmn_N_Sex 59M  
75 posts
3/5/2020 6:07 pm

If the Treasure is Pleasure and from a Realistic source, I may never give up because often a great deal of time is necessary to present my case. I choose to make requests after adequate consideration. Likewise, I expect that offers are not accepted without rational cause!


Kdream_flyer76K 43M
60 posts
3/5/2020 6:19 pm

One no is plenty. If she was nice about it then maybe we can chat again without meeting. If she was rude about it then I just block her so I never make the mistake of trying to say hello again.


JustLookn439 54M
496 posts
3/5/2020 7:37 pm

I NEVER beg a woman to meet. I find that demeaning to myself to shed all resemblance of dignity. I don't even WANT to hear a reason why not.
In life and in relationships, you cede all power to the one who wants it least. If the woman knows you are more madly in lover or lust with her than she with you, she controls you. This is the first mistake too many make in entering a relationship.


JustLookn439 54M
496 posts
3/5/2020 7:42 pm

I would think it is only men that would have this issue. Do women really ever ask to meet? I find most don't seem to be interested in meeting, let alone ASKING to meet. So, it seems there would be little likelihood of them being told "no".


PAWAPh 43M
11471 posts
3/5/2020 8:01 pm

*Voted*

Jack


looking4u69ca 59M  
3341 posts
3/5/2020 8:34 pm

Usually once is enough.
Sometimes 2 after a short period of time.
Give the woman time to think about her answer.


D4696969 46F
2 posts
3/6/2020 12:48 am

One "No" is enough for me. Men are much different. It takes about 10 no's.


BiggLala 48F  
27894 posts
3/6/2020 2:03 am

    Quoting JustLookn439:
    I would think it is only men that would have this issue. Do women really ever ask to meet? I find most don't seem to be interested in meeting, let alone ASKING to meet. So, it seems there would be little likelihood of them being told "no".
Do women really ever ask to meet?
-Yes, some women do. There are also women who initiate contact. Those are probably the women who hear 'no' most often.

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sassos 53M
37 posts
3/6/2020 2:33 am

One then move on - let's not waste each others time....


TicklePlease 52F  
12623 posts
3/6/2020 6:18 am

    Quoting sensualmaninmn:
    Maybe if the woman in question is vague about her "no" I will probe a little more. Otherwise, I don't waste time with someone who would not want to get to know and be with me.
^^This

Sometimes I say no for logistical reasons like distance or availability, and tell the person that.... if those things change I might think differently if that person reaches out again.
Sometimes it's because my schedule is ridiculously busy, or there's a medical reason like driving-foot surgery that limits my known availability that I say no. But I make it clear what the reason is.
I try to be clear if I say no when a person doesn't fit what I'm seeking. THOSE folks I don't want to hear from again, but if they do fit what I'm seeking, sometimes that no can be a "not right now, but I won't mind if you check back respectfully later."


50I1guy 99M
29 posts
3/6/2020 10:56 am

Iโ€™m old enough and mature enough to to accept no the first time BUT what is aggravating is the vast majority who simply ignore without even trying to find out if Iโ€™m worth their time. NO I can handle but rudeness is something entirely different, just tell me no thank you were you not taught any manners at all?


AnewWoman 61F  
119 posts
3/6/2020 3:22 pm

    Quoting 50I1guy:
    Iโ€™m old enough and mature enough to to accept no the first time BUT what is aggravating is the vast majority who simply ignore without even trying to find out if Iโ€™m worth their time. NO I can handle but rudeness is something entirely different, just tell me no thank you were you not taught any manners at all?
As much as I can see your point, I still have to disagree with you. You happen to be a standard member who can't view profiles. Now add in the gold members who can read profiles, but don't. You are saying some say no without taking the time to find out if you are worth their time. Neither have you if you think about it. Maybe the reason you are not worth their time is clearly explained in their profile. Just maybe the person is tired of having to say why when they already have. You just choose not to see it.


ProfessorNaught 107M
1040 posts
3/6/2020 6:32 pm

Zig Ziglar may be outdated as even in sales they say 6-7 no's before you get to yes.

But this isn't about sales or sex for that matter. My time is precious. Say no and I'm gone. But then again, I never played the cat-n-mouse game with women either.

However, if you were forced to reach out to men, if that was your only expectation and chance of talking or meeting someone. How would you develop around the word 'no'?

Try to flip the table. Women rarely are in the same position.


Yours_4A_knight 55M
1286 posts
3/8/2020 8:44 pm

I would be thrilled . . .well would have been thrilled back when I could send messages . .to have received a polite "Thanks but not for me." For the most part I got nothing at all back.

Not the Whole Truth but the truth that I can see.


lickinislivin 48M
17 posts
3/9/2020 5:19 am

You are fucking sexy so It's probably going to take a lot


Lasttry731 40M
62 posts
3/9/2020 6:12 am

If I'm told no then it is what it is. They don't have to have a reason to give. No was their answer. I accept it. We don't have to give a reason to our saying no. If I say no to someone on here or if they fall outside of my search, like men for example, I immediately block them on the second attempt from them. Maybe that too harsh but at least they will get the point.


196ddawg 59M
18 posts
3/9/2020 8:11 am

Well I'd never ask untill I was pretty sure I wouldn't get a no but never know


MsJaneBondage 50F  
112 posts
3/9/2020 8:26 am

I no longer give them an opportunity for a second no. I donโ€™t respond to anyone if Iโ€™m not interested. Otherwise, Iโ€™ve opened up that can of worms to allow them to either say thank you, or go mental on me. I used to give a polite reply and say thank you but we are not a match. Which would cause them to respond with anger and backlash and go mental in me. Some would then beg and plead their case that my reasoning is irrelevant because Iโ€™m on this site to please them. A small percentage would say thank you and move on.
I now have an auto reply which only offends a few, and when it does, I simply block them due to their irrational response.
Bottom line, you canโ€™t make everyone happy, and Iโ€™m not here to please them, Iโ€™m here for my own entertainment.
So far, no No is working great.


neednewfun50 62M  
96 posts
3/9/2020 8:43 am

I said 2 but really it is just 1 the 2nd email is just to thank them for at least responding since so few actually answer you at all


sprint2055 49M
21 posts
3/9/2020 9:54 am

Interesting post...


alexsantelmoaff 45M
6 posts
3/9/2020 7:59 pm

salio mi voto!


AnewWoman 61F  
119 posts
3/11/2020 7:38 am

    Quoting  :

"The sad part..... That guy who messaged you has probably messaged several other women in hopes of one taking him up on his offer..... It makes you no one special. I'll never understand why some women don't get that...?"
It makes us no one special in his eyes, what you fail to realize is he is without a doubt, no one special in our eyes. And guess what? It is our eyes that matter, not his. That is what you have failed to understand.


BiggLala 48F  
27894 posts
3/11/2020 10:13 am

    Quoting  :

This response is so funny! I don't know what difference it makes how many times she said 'yes'.

What's really funny is that you most likely intended to make the OP (and all women here) look bad. Yet, you contradicted yourself the entire way through. You say men are here looking for hookups, but women need to not "...ignore someone before getting to know them." You also assert that women should be able to "...carry on an intelligent conversation..." with someone who contacts them, but...again...is just looking for a hookup.

Really? Get to know someone, or carry on an intelligent conversation with men who don't want conversation or "...get to know..." those women, but just want to hookup?

Too funny!!!

Need a way to message ALL members?...click here for helpful instructions in setting up a private messaging blog post.


AnewWoman replies on 3/11/2020 12:23 pm:
I about fell outta my chair when I read his response this morning. I'm guessing he and/or others who think like him are the ones who after being told no are the ones who finish the chat with "Your loss."

saggymakesmehard 61M
5 posts
3/16/2020 3:00 pm

Depends on the situation. If people keep contact with me over time (which some do) and we get to know each other better online, I may ask again at a later date--months later, or a year later.


stringtime666 58M
616 posts
3/19/2020 11:28 am

it depends on the situation, usually a no is enough, but a second attempt has often been worthwhile

Lust was zu schreiben? [post Privater Briefkasten Privat Mailbox (private Mailbox)


Hornycub165 19M
10 posts
3/19/2020 9:36 pm

No means no soooo


jrkingshow 47M
5267 posts
3/20/2020 2:52 pm

A no is enough... Is something in language i missed? XD


Mrfrogyone1 52M
14 posts
3/21/2020 4:58 am

Getting a no is a good place to start. If told no, time to move on, but if ignored no way of knowing. So many times I hear of complaining that IM doesnt work, so if ignored on IM I will make repeated attempts. I have seen where someone has read your IM and doesnt respond, seems rude to me, cant be assured that they didnt loose there connection or something. Just trying to be respectful. Im only interested in those interested in me, to chase others sounds desperate and kinda stalkish .... ; )


funasianma1e 45M
119 posts
3/27/2020 9:02 pm

especially in today's MeToo era, once is enough.
Should be once is enough even before.


_IKanCu2_ 101M
2489 posts
3/30/2020 1:04 am

/\/0,,, ][ didn't vote.
/\/0,,, ][ didn't ask .

By (\/)y reasoning and reckoning,,,

][f You can get anyone to tell You the Gods Truth,,,

that would make You a Lion



Tamer
!



HornyOldFucker76 60M
110 posts
3/30/2020 9:05 am

I voted for "1", but occasionally I'll ask again 2+ months down the road in case she has had a change of heart.


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