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Maintain My Demeanor A Poem
Posted:Feb 11, 2020 6:57 pm
Last Updated:Feb 11, 2020 6:58 pm

I have to maintain my demeanor
I will not sink to being uncivil.
He was friend who came through
When no one else would
That I should not discount
Because I am presently hurt.

I am not vindictive.
I will keep my scars
Hidden from view.
My heart pierced
But still beating
And healing.
Time works like magic.

I will be true to myself.
Not meek nor mild.
Just knowing that men
Invariably let me down.
Would that one could
Come along
Who breaks that mold.
1 comment
Where I Stand A Poem
Posted:Feb 10, 2020 5:30 pm
Last Updated:Feb 11, 2020 5:42 pm

I am not going to reach out.
I am tired of being the one
Who kept in touch.
If they miss me
Let them text or call.
What if they don't.
Can I accept that fate?
At least I will know
Where I stand
If they care at all.

Sorry if I sound bitter
Or resentful
Can you blame me?
Isn't it only natural?
When one cares for someone
And finds out
That care was for naught?

The time has come
To let the chips fall
Or the banner get
Get taken up
And someone else
To wave it
Or stand guard
In this relationship.
Hello Again Blogland
Posted:Feb 9, 2020 3:06 pm
Last Updated:Feb 11, 2020 5:34 pm

Hello again everyone!

Sorry I have been off the blogs for a bit. I hope to spend a little more time writing and commenting in the coming days and weeks. I hope everyone is doing well so far this year.
Never Speak The Words A Poem
Posted:Feb 9, 2020 3:03 pm
Last Updated:Feb 11, 2020 5:43 pm

I guess it's good
I never told you
I loved you.
I never said the words.
I saved myself
That knowledge
You would not have
Cared or bothered
Except to say
You are sorry
That I felt so much.
When you did not share
My feelings.
You might have said
Sorry I was hurt.
You didn't mean
For that to happen.
Is this the lesson?
Never speak the words?

They almost slipped
This last time.
What a fool
I would have been.
You would have told me
How foolish I was
How I misread the signals.
You were just a man.
In a passionate moment
Nothing special
Any woman would do.
In fact another woman texted
While we were together
But I didn't know.

So the lesson from now
Let him tell me first.
How long should I wait?
Weeks, months, years?
I am not getting any younger.
My heart is not the strongest
I will keep it safe as best I can
Words will not escape
That can be thrown back
Discarded as unwanted
And worthless to them.
Happy Holidays To Everyone
Posted:Dec 26, 2019 9:48 am
Last Updated:Dec 27, 2019 2:37 pm

I hope it is not too late to say Good tidings to all this Holiday season. I hope everyone had a good Christmas and have plans for a memorable New year's celebration for 2020. I have not made up my mind yet what I am doing. Anyone got some grand plans for the evening?
The Center Of Someone's World A Poem
Posted:Dec 26, 2019 9:42 am
Last Updated:Dec 27, 2019 9:54 am

The Center Of Someone's World

Written in December of Twenty

That feeling that you feel
When you think you are
The center of someone's world.
It is nearly indescribable.
But I will try
And I will possibly fail.
Like so many before me
And after me most probably.

Words and feelings
They can sometimes
Go together
Like Peanut Butter
And Jelly
Or Orange Juice
And vodka.
But can they ever
Really intimately know
One another?

To feel
It's ideal
In words
A target
On a dart board.
So many misses
Near and farther apart.
But it is a start.
And that is what
The effort shows
When one describes
What is in one's heart.

Yes being the center
Of someone's attention
You are marked.
You are their target.
You are their focus
You are their yearning
When you look at them
Their eyes locked
Or sometimes closed
For feelings
Can sometimes overwhelm
And eyes need
To go inward
And there they paint
Their mental picture.
To remember
When you are not together.

How have I done?
Have I come close?
I hope so.
I can only imagine.
That my words are understood.
That for a brief moment
They were the focus.
Now go back to looking
At your loved ones.
With the attention they deserve.
When Our Love Could Begin
Posted:Dec 3, 2019 5:39 am
Last Updated:Dec 10, 2019 10:14 pm

I wrote this December of 20.

And so it begins,
It might become great,
It is just the anticipation of a first date.
I don't remember the butterflies of such size,
I don't remember how I wanted memorize,
Every single facet and shape of his face,
Every single word he utters,
Every single gesture of his hands,
Every breath and exhalation.
Every look he gives me
And his pupil's dilation.
Do you think he feels the same?
I mean, it is his first with me,
Could our anticipation be mutual?
Could our future ecstasy meet expectations?
I am guessing it all depends.
On whether we exude our wishes,
Our desires,
And if we make a maximum heartfelt effort.

I don't want be cavalier.
I don't want say c'est la vie.
I want be fully awake, and
Not feel a moment of ennui.

There are two words I want this be,
One is special and the other is unique.
Yes, this will be special for us.
And it will also be unique if we fulfill all our fantasies.
I am so looking forward this,
I can hardly sleep.
The Insecurities Have Taken Hold A Poem
Posted:Dec 1, 2019 9:14 pm
Last Updated:Dec 3, 2019 4:56 pm

It is very hard for .
I want to give
Us a chance to be
But my insecurities
They live and breathe
And take hold
And they are now
All I can see.

I shouldn't even
Be more than friends with you.
I should have left things there
But I let the boundaries blur
And now saying we have
To go back to being
Just friends will probably
Turn you off completely
Bringing our friendship
To an end.

I know you are new
To all this
This is a new phase
Of your life.
I could guide you
But I found about
A few things
And the insecurities
Like I said
Have taken hold
They act clairvoyant
Even though it might
Just be paranoia.

But I can't be your rebound lover
You will always compare to her
I would rather be alone
We had some fun
I now understand better
What you were running from.

I have been here
Way too often.
It hurts for a while
And then I heal
With time.
I am sure you
Will do the same
As well.
Friends, Yes, Friends A Poem
Posted:Nov 26, 2019 9:46 pm
Last Updated:Mar 29, 2020 8:12 pm

He and his girlfriend are over
He is looking for a new lover now.
I have not offered to be one
Take up where we left off.
I have some pride left
I would rather we stay friends.
I would rather him have
Some respect for me
Considering in the past
He obviously thought
I was not good enough
For a relationship
Of any longevity.

The sex was always good.
It felt wonderful every time.
He knew I had quite the libido
Kissing and touching
Would inevitably lead
To greater and more intimacy.

I never asked him
What he found so unacceptable
About me
The truth too harsh
For me too see.
I know I am not perfect
I know my faults
All too well.
His not divulging them
Perhaps meant
He was a gentleman.
He did not want to hurt
My feelings.
After all he did say
He loved me but
Was not in love with me.
Whatever that meant
I did not want to dig too deep.
I took solace in knowing
He did not hate me
Or wish me ill.

Friends, yes, friends
That is what we can be.
We can discuss things
We have in common.
Our love of sports and pets.

I might dream about him
Like I have many an ex lover.
I don't have a current one
Who can occupy my waking
Let alone my sleeping moments.
To Write A Script. A Poem
Posted:Nov 14, 2019 4:42 pm
Last Updated:Nov 21, 2019 8:50 pm

I want to hear you say Hi again.
How simple a wish is that?
I remarked how I found
It endearing
And you wondered
If I was kidding
But I was serious.
It showed you were friendly
Wanted to put people at ease
It was quite charming
And with me
Quite effective.

I wonder if I ever will
Hear that word again
Uttered from your lips
I have a mind to write
A whole new script
In which we get together
Take up where we left off
Before you fell ill
And then disappeared.

Do I seem desperate?
Or just fanciful?
Thinking of a man
Who probably never was?
But that's the point.
In this script
I can write of my heart's content
And not it's broken shell.
A Woman He Has Yet To Get A Poem
Posted:Nov 12, 2019 9:27 pm
Last Updated:Nov 17, 2019 10:23 pm

He surfaces now and then
To tell that I was on his mind.
He was thinking about
Some aspect about me.
Usually my breasts.
Or my big behind.

I appreciate the compliment.
For truly there are so many
Other women he could have.
So many other women
In his past.
What makes me special?
That I have not cut ties?
That I am open to communicating?

He and I have never even met.
Perhaps it is just that.
I am a woman he has yet to get.
I don't know if we will ever
Take the next step
And meet in real life.
Fantasy is so full of desire.
Will real life measure up?
I know I would do my darndest
To make sure.
Why waste each other's time?
Why not try to fulfill those scenes
That he and I described?

I am a woman he has yet to get.
I am not sure we will ever meet.
But when we ?
We are transported to places
Where fulfillment of our desires
Is achieved.
If only briefly...
And then we end our conversations.
Until he surfaces again.
When he remembers who I am.
Or some facet of my body
That he appreciates.
This Moment Of Togetherness A Poem
Posted:Nov 11, 2019 10:07 pm
Last Updated:Nov 26, 2019 9:17 pm

When you hold me ,
Stroke my hair,
Tell me stories
Of your life.
Some funny
Some not so nice.
Your guard down
This is what I treasure
This moment
Of being together.

My mind will picture
Yes it will envision
What you say
And I will offer intermittently
A question which shows
I am listening intently.
I am with you.
Your arm around me .
Consciously or unconsciously
Stroking my hair
You are relaxed
As am I
I am savoring
This moment
Of togetherness.
However long it lasts.
Simply Not A Frog A Poem
Posted:Nov 5, 2019 1:02 am
Last Updated:Nov 7, 2019 12:15 pm

He was supposed to be
Unlike the others.
He was supposed to be
Simply not a frog.
Not a prince.
For that is asking
For the impossible.
Simply not a frog
Would pass muster.
Would be adequate
But a frog
Had qualities
I had to see for myself.

He was not a frog
We joked about it.
Among ourselves.
But then he chose
To leave like he was
Cinderella at the ball.
And had a curfew.
He disappeared.
But it was worse
For he was like a ghost.
He has gone silent
And I don't know why.
Except perhaps
His allergic reaction
To my cat.
For up to that moment
Our time was quite pleasant.

Why did he have
To be such a coward
And not explain
His silence?
He set in motion
An awful contemplation.
A mood alteration
That takes a while
To recalibrate.

So not a frog
But what then?
Just another man
Who let me down.

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