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Shagging deer 7/8/2005
Lady asked tribal chief about his sex life. Chief replied
"me fuck many men, women and animals!" The lady
clearly shocked replied "Oh dear", to which
the chief retorted "No deer!!Hole too high and run
2 fast"
0 Comments, 223 Views,
10 Votes
,2.59 Score
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the cab driver 7/8/2005
a guy drives and parks his car at lovers lane with this girl
he just met.
the girl then looks at the guy and says, "listen, i
have to be honest with you i'm a ." the guy thinks for a minute and agrees to pay the girl $25
and they start going at it.
After they finish the guy tells the girl, "i have to
be honest with you too, i am a cab driver and it will cost you
$25 to get back into ...
0 Comments, 195 Views,
5 Votes
,4.12 Score
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sunday school nun 7/8/2005
a nun is teaching a sunday school class and asks" what
all the boys and girls want to be when they grow up"?one
boy says"a doctor" one girl says"a lawyer"
but this one girl says"a ' the nun
stops dead in her tracks"WHAT DID YOU SAY LITTLE GIRL!"
"a sister, a "she replied."ohhhhh....i
thought you said aProtestant, sorry"
0 Comments, 252 Views,
8 Votes
,3.48 Score
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pierre the pilot 7/8/2005
Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend,
Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine.
It's a beautiful day, and love is in the air. Marie leans
over to Pierre and says: "Pierre, kiss me!"
<br>
Our hero grabs a bottle of Merlot wine and splashes it on
Marie's lips. "What are you doing, Pierre?",
says the startled Marie.
<br>
"I am Pierre ...
0 Comments, 201 Views,
6 Votes
,3.08 Score
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Bubbles 7/8/2005
Three ducks are arrested and have to go to court. The judge
says okay one at a time step up and tell me your name, and what
did you do to get here today?
So the first duck steps up and says.."Well judge,
my name is Lulu, and I was arrested for blowing bubbles in
the fountain."
The judge says "Well I don't see whats so wrong
with that. You're released. Go home."
So then the second duck ...
0 Comments, 279 Views,
13 Votes
,3.14 Score
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The blind date at the fair 7/8/2005
Joe took his blind date to the carnival. "What would
you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe.
<br>
I want to get weighed, " she said. They ambled over
to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on
the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize.
<br>
Next, the couple went on the Ferris Wheel. When the ride
was over, Joe again asked Kim what she would like to do. ...
0 Comments, 261 Views,
9 Votes
,3.64 Score
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submit your own punchline 7/7/2005
what do you call 4 blonds and a brunette standing on a streetcorner?
2 Comments, 264 Views,
3 Votes
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Who won the 2012 Olympics? 7/7/2005
The Toothless beat the Spineless.
1 Comments, 181 Views,
6 Votes
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Who Is She? 7/7/2005
A man standing in line at a check out counter of a grocery
store was really surprised when a very attractive woman
behind him said, "Hello!" Her face was beaming.
<br>
He gave her that 'who are you?' look, and couldn't
remember ever having
seen her before.
<br>
Then, noticing his look, she figured she had made a mistake
and apologized. "Look, " she said "I'm
really ...
1 Comments, 216 Views,
12 Votes
,4.92 Score
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pregnant blonde 7/7/2005
ok my freinds wife came running up to him jumping for joy
and she waqs really exited so he wanted to know what she was
so exited about so he asked her what it was she replied i'm
pregnant!!!11 they had been trying to have for a wwhile
and he was like wow really thats amazing. His wife said no
thats not the amazing part were having twins! How did you
know that he questioned.
Becauyse i ...
0 Comments, 424 Views,
10 Votes
,1.19 Score
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Cinderella 7/6/2005
CINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother
won't let her.
As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother
appears, and promised to provide Cinderella with everything
she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions. "First,
you must wear a diaphragm." Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?"
"You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and ...
0 Comments, 440 Views,
16 Votes
,5.77 Score
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The new Holden Monaro 7/6/2005
A middle aged New Zealander bought a brand new Holden Monaro.
He took off down the road, pushing it up to 130 kmph, and was
enjoying the wind blowing through his (thinning) hair.
"This is great, " he thought and accelerated
to an even higher speed. But then he looked in his rear-view
mirror, and there was a Police car behind him, blue lights
flashing.
"I can get away from him with no ...
1 Comments, 233 Views,
10 Votes
,5.97 Score
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that's love!! 7/6/2005
THAT'S LOVE!
<br>
An escaped convict, imprisoned for 1st degree murder,
had spent 25 years of his life sentence in prison. While
on the run, he broke into a house and tied up a young couple
who had been sleeping in the bedroom. He tied the man to a
chair on one side of the room and his wife on the bed.
<br>
He got on the bed right over the woman, and it appeared he
was ...
1 Comments, 290 Views,
12 Votes
,5.27 Score
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Never be overconfident 7/5/2005
It was the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher
was
receiving gifts from her pupils.
<br>
The florist's handed her a gift. She shook it, held
it overhead,
and said, "I bet I know what it is. Flowers."
"That's right!" the boy
said, "But, how did you know?" "Oh, just
a wild guess, " she said.
<br>
The next pupil was the sweet shop owner's .
The ...
1 Comments, 203 Views,
6 Votes
,4.22 Score
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little rubber thing..... 7/4/2005
One afternoon a man, his wife and their 9 are waiting
for a bus, also waiting for the bus is a blind gentleman.
The bus arrives one time and opens it's doors, seeing
as it only holds 10 people the man tells his wife to go ahead
take the , he and the blind gentleman would walk to the
next stop and catch the other bus. The wife says ok and leaves
the two men to their walk. When the men reach ...
2 Comments, 354 Views,
18 Votes
,3.67 Score
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Shit List 7/3/2005
GHOST POOPIE: The kind where you feel the poopie come out,
but there is no poopie in the toilet.
<br>
CLEAN POOPIE: The kind where you poopie it out, see it in
the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
<br>
WET POOPIE: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and
it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper
between your butt and your ...
0 Comments, 80 Views,
6 Votes
,4.50 Score
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I know the whole truth!! 7/3/2005
At school, a boy was told by a classmate that most adults
are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes
it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the
whole truth". The boy decides to go home and try it
out.
<br>
<br>
He goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother he says,
"I know the whole truth." His mother quickly
hands him
$20 ...
1 Comments, 167 Views,
5 Votes
,4.12 Score
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Blondes; You got to love em 7/3/2005
Three women(blonde, brunette & redhead) go to the
Dr. because they're all three pregnant. As they all
wait in the waiting room, the nurse comes out and begins
a general conversation as to what to expect while being
examined. After finishing her routine talk, the nurse
says: We have a contest and the one who guesses their babies
sex correctly, wins baby appareal. So, she turns to the ...
1 Comments, 291 Views,
7 Votes
,4.57 Score
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dirty deaf jokes 7/3/2005
Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage,
they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom
when they turn off the lights because they can't see
each other using sign language.
After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings,
the wife decides to find a solution.
<br>
'Honey, ' she signs, 'Why don't we agree
on some simple signals? ...
0 Comments, 242 Views,
19 Votes
,5.10 Score
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Be strong honey 7/2/2005
A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up
for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and
guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the
guy out of bed and ties him to a chair.
While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict
gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes
into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband
whispers ...
1 Comments, 547 Views,
28 Votes
,7.04 Score
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90 yr old virgin 7/2/2005
there was a 90 yr old virgin that had a big ol itch in her crotch
one day, so she decided to go to the family doctor to see what
was goin on, so the doctor checks her out and comes back saying
"mam, i'm sorry, but u got crabs." the 90
yr old virgin says "no!! it can't be, i'm
still a virgin!!" so the doctor says "ok, if
you dont believe me, go see a gynecologist." so she
does... ...
1 Comments, 450 Views,
23 Votes
,4.06 Score
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~~ Charity~~ 7/2/2005
A successful business flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble.
He lost the shirt of his back, and had nothing left but a quarter
and the second half of his round trip ticket -- If he could
just get to the airport he could get himself home. So he went
out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting.
<br>
He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised
to ...
1 Comments, 228 Views,
6 Votes
,3.65 Score
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Blonde Joke 7/2/2005
Did you hear about the blonde that died her hair brown? Someone
told her something about artificial intelligence!
1 Comments, 99 Views,
4 Votes
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Tap on shoulder 7/2/2005
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask
him a
question.The driver screamed, lost control of the car,
nearly hit a bus, went
up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop
window.
<br>
For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver
said:
"Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared
the daylights out of
me!" <br>
...
1 Comments, 136 Views,
9 Votes
,4.92 Score
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Towel Sex 7/2/2005
A guy found himself unable to satisfy his wife in bed. He
tried hundreds of methods but just wasn't able to give
her an orgasm. He finally went to his best friend and asked
for advice. His friend told him not to worry because he knew
a method that was a 100% successful. He says, "Hire
a big, strong, muscular man to stand near your bed and waving
a huge towel over both of you while you are ...
1 Comments, 189 Views,
8 Votes
,5.33 Score
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Me not come to work 7/2/2005
Chinese: Me not come to work, me sick.
Boss: When I'm sick I have sex with my wife, try it.
Later chinese called back: It worked. Me better. You got
nice house!
1 Comments, 159 Views,
6 Votes
,3.65 Score
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Blonde @ sex shop 7/2/2005
A blonde goes to a sex shop and asks to see the vibrators,
They are over there on the wall said the assistant.
The blonde then asked, how much is the big red one,
Ma'am, that is a fire extinguiser! says the shop assistant.
1 Comments, 171 Views,
7 Votes
,3.55 Score
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Mongolian V.D. 7/2/2005
An American tourist goes on a trip to China.
<br>
<br>
<br>
While there, he is sexually promiscuous and doesn't
use a condom.
<br>
<br>
<br>
A week after arriving home, he finds his penis is covered
with bright
green spots. Horrified, he goes to see his doctor.
<br>
<br>
<br>
Days later the doctor calls and says, ...
1 Comments, 211 Views,
15 Votes
,6.35 Score
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3 Wishes 7/2/2005
Once there was a rabbit and a bear who lived in a magical forest.
This
magical forest was said to have a magical golden frog that
would grant
any
3 wishes that a person asked it, the catch being that you
would have to
find it first.
<br>
<br>
<br>
Now the rabbit and the bear hated each other, because as
we all know,
bears eat rabbits.
<br>
...
1 Comments, 197 Views,
11 Votes
,5.41 Score
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Shhhh! 7/2/2005
The spark had been lost in this guy's marriage, so he
was trying to
think
of a way to rekindle it.
<br>
<br>
<br>
One night he came from work, and found his wife asleep in
bed.
<br>
<br>
<br>
He thought to himself, "What should I do?"
<br>
<br>
<br>
He proceeded to get under the covers and go down on his wife. ...
1 Comments, 243 Views,
13 Votes
,5.49 Score
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